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A Deeper Look into Sexual Addiction, Sadism and Masochism
Sexual Sadism and Masochism
For some people, inflicting or experiencing pain and indignity
is linked to sexual gratification. Many people incorporate
mildly painful acts-such as biting, nipping,
and spanking-into their sexual practices. When both
partners enjoy them, these activities can enhance sexual
pleasure. However, sadists and masochists often go beyond
mild and, moreover, cannot enjoy sex any
other way. The sadist, achieving orgasm depends on
humiliating others or inflicting pain on them. This is
often referred to as "discipline." To the masochist, sexual
satisfaction depends on "bondage"-suffering, humiliation,
pain, and ill treatment at the hands of others.
Sadism and masochism occur in both heterosexual and
homosexual relationships, but, like other sexual deviations,
they are poorly understood. Some clinical workers
have conjectured that the roots of sadism and masochism
are to be found in childhood; others have mentioned
possible biological factors. One area that would
seem to merit study is the fantasy life of these individuals,
for example, the thoughts associated with their sexual
activities.
The sexual masochist experiences arousal through
his or her own suffering, preferably by being humiliated
and beaten. Masochists have fantasies, beginning
in which they are bound, tortured, raped,
or otherwise abused in ways that they cannot prevent...
These fantasies and acts are far more prevalent
with men than with females. But
features are found in most cases of
sadomasochism: agreement as to which partner is to be
dominant and which one submissive, awareness by both
partners that they are role playing, the consent of both
participants, a sexual context, and a shared understanding
by both participants that their behavior is sadomasochistic
(Weinberg and others, 1984)
In sadomasochistic relationships the participants
agree on the limits beforehand.
My wife and I do play dominance and submission
games and maybe we have the marks to prove it on
occasion. But the one playing top dog watches like a
hawk to make sure we stop when the other one doesn't
like it any more.
Often a signal is set up so that the submissive partner
can stop the session at any time if the agreed-upon
boundaries are exceeded. One sadomasochistic prostitute
explained her approach.
When you have a new client what I used to do was I
used to sit down and I would talk to them first and
find out exactly what they wanted. Because sometimes
you can get into a session with somebody and get very
brutal and that's not what they want. There's heavy
dominance and there’s light dominance and there's
play acting roles all different kinds. So the best
thing to do is to sit down and talk to somebody first,
initially.
-(Weinberg, 1978, p. 29)
When sadomasochism is a person's predominant
sexual style, the most common way of reaching other
sadomasochistic devotees is the use of ads in sadomasochistic
magazines.
Example:
Beautiful Dominatrix
24.
A true sophisticate of the
bizarre and unusual. I have a well equipped
dungeon in my luxurious home. You will submit to
prolonged periods of degradation for my pleasure.
Toilet servitude a must. I know what you crave and
can fulfill your every need.
A very pretty 3D-year-oldfemale has fantasies about
receiving hand spankings on bare behind. She never
allowed my self to act out any of the fantasies. Is there
anyone out there who)d like to correspond with me
about their fantasies or experience with spanking?
-(Weinberg and Falk, 1980, pp. 385-386)
As these examples show, the ads contain code messages.
"Toilet servitude," for instance, refers to handling feces
or being defecated on. Sadomasochistic experiences can
also be enhanced by hoods, paddles, enema equipment,
adult diapers, and other paraphernalia sold in sex shops.
For those who wish to pursue such activities at home,
this equipment can now be found in "sex boutiques" in
middle-class neighborhoods (see Figure 8-14).
Masochistic needs can also be satisfied without actually
inflicting pain. For many couples, the fantasied
aspect of violence is most important. "
Of course
he doesn't really hurt me. I mean quite
recently he tied me down ready to receive
punishment then by mistake he kicked my heel
with his toe as he walked by. I gave a yelp) and he
said, Sorry love-did I hurt you?"
-(Gosselin and Wilson, 1980, pp. 54-55)
My wife believes in discipline. If she gets angry and
yells at me) I get an erection. If she ever raises her
hand as if to hit me) I get so excited I can': stand it.
Actually she has never hit me. When I have fantasies
Of her hitting or slapping me) my penis becomes erect
immediately.
Few studies of fetishists, transvestites, and sadomasochists
have been owned out Because of the
difficulties involved in obtaining subjects. The results of
the studies that have been done so far are hard to interpret
because of the unrepresentative samples that investigators
are forced to use. Researchers have become very
creative in searching for these hard-to-find subjects. For
example, one recent study utilized the membership lists
of organizations for fetishists, sadomasochists, and
transvestites (Gosselin and Wilson, 1980). The subjects,
all males, were given the Eysenck Personality Questionnaire
(Eysenck and Eysenck, 1975), a paper-and-pencil
test that measures extraversion, neuroticism,
and psychotism and includes a "lie scale" intended to screen out
test takers who do not answer candidly. A questionnaire
on life style, sexual characteristics, sexual fantasies, and
childhood and adolescent experiences was also included.
On the basis of these measures, three sexually deviant
groups were found to be more introverted and more
inclined to fantasy than a control group In the control
group, 18 percent of the men could be considered fetishistic
on the basis of their sexual fantasies, but only 2
to 5 percent could be called sadomasochistic or had
transvestite fantasies.
Many of the subjects in one group-for example,
the fetishists-had sexual interests that overlapped those
in the other groups (see Figure 8-15). Thirty-five percent
of any group had all three sets of interests. The
biggest overlaps were between fetishists
and sadomasochists and between fetishists and transvestites.
Research suggests that very often sadomasochism and
transvestism are elaborations of an early-learned
Fetishism and Wilson conclude that these sexually variant
behaviors are not the deliberate choice of an individual
looking for "kicks," but rather a logical, if unfortunate,
reaction of a shy, introverted, emotionally sensitive child
to ;} restrictive sexual upbringing.
Sadomasochists may be heterosexual, bisexual, or
homosexual in their choice of partners. A questionnaire
study showed few differences among these groups
(Breslow and others, 1986). In general, subjects in all
three groups felt that their sadomasochistic interests
were natural ones that were present in childhood. People
in all three groups used ...ads to make contact with
others with similar interests. G subjects in any of the
groups reported being sexually abused as children although
a sizeable minority felt emotionally abuse'! In
general, the homosexual respondents tended to sometimes
take the dominant and sometimes the submissive
role in their sadomasochistic activities. Heterosexual and
bisexual subjects were about equally
divided into "predominantly dominant,"
"predominantly submissive," or
"adopting either" (sex addiction like symptoms), and other roles. Although more men then
women seem to be interested in sadomasochism, in one
survey using questionnaires placed in a sadomasochistic
contact magazine, 40 percent of those who responded
were female (Breslow Addiction notes and others, 1985).
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